Dear Tracy,
I thought I'd drop you a (probably not so) quick note to wish you a very happy 16th birthday on what is, confusingly yet aptly, your 32nd birthday. I know you are extremely excited about your joint party with Sarah which is happening on Saturday. You’ve
got a gorgeous red dress that you feel really grown up in and you’ve had a
fringe cut in. It’s already annoying you because it keeps parting and you’re
worried it will look silly on the night. Quick tip: Next time you decide you
want a fringe (and there will be a next time) get the hairdresser to make it
heavier and it won’t do it so much.
The party is going to be amazing! There will be lots of Five and S Club 7 played and that boy you like who
sits at the back of the bus actually said he’d try and come when you invited
him, but don’t get too excited because you’re only 16 and there’s a whole
wealth of guys out there for you to crush on. You'll get lots and lots of wonderful presents which you are extremely grateful for, but the one that still sticks in your head will be the bag of Millie's Cookies that Rachel brings from work. It will pass
by in a blur so take lots of photos.
It’s been a pretty shitty year for you so far, but in time you will see
that what you thought was the worst moment of your life was actually the best.
Well that exact moment wasn’t, but the outcome was. From just having a family
on your mum’s side, a whole new family has been presented to you. A dad who has
always been there can now share with you another mum, two brothers, a cousin
who you will soon see as a sister, three grandparents and a whole bunch of
extended family that you love to pieces.
Ironically I’m sitting here a lifetime (for you) later experiencing
what is turning out to be a difficult year. Don’t get me wrong, there have been
truly horrible moments between your time and mine, but this year is really
knocking me for six. I’m getting there slowly, but surely. Knowing you got
through everything that 2000 threw at you is one of the things that makes me
sure I will get through 2016. Thank you for showing me just how strong we are
capable of being.
Just as an aside, when everything came out you said that you were happy
as you might get the chance to be an auntie one day. Well, spoiler alert, but
you become an auntie to, not one, but four gorgeous pickles. They are all
unique in their own way and you are so proud of each and every one of them.
But that’s enough about a future that seems so far away to you right
now. You’ve completed your GCSEs and you’ve done your work experience at your
old primary school. It’s time to enjoy a relaxing summer before going back to
school to do your A-levels. Yes, you’re going back to Wilmington. You will
strengthen existing friendships as well as make new ones that I still have and
cherish now. The whole applying to university thing won’t go entirely to plan,
but it definitely works out for the best. You’ll see why…
Around the time you go back to school, the head of sixth form will make
you find a volunteering role to take on so you contact your old Guide Leader
Mandi to see if you can return to your unit as a Young Leader and of course
she welcomes you back. You have some many amazing experiences coming your way
and it’s all down to guiding. There’s too much to go into here, but it’s safe
to say that it becomes a huge part of your life. In fact I’d say it becomes a
way of life. I truly believe that guiding and university are responsible for
who we’ve become.
Never stop being you. One of the things I love about you is how you are
totally happy to be yourself and enjoy the things that you enjoy without being
bothered about what others think. For example in my time you have an unwavering
love for both Harry Potter and McFly. Your family and friends may lovingly mock
you, but you never falter in your dedication to them. They bring joy to your
life and that’s all that’s important to you. Just as it should be.
Another thing that I love about you is that you’re not afraid to admit
when you’re wrong. When the whole Harry Potter hype took off, you didn’t
understand why everyone was so fascinated with a bunch of children’s books. In
fact you point blank refused to read them. I can’t remember what made you
change your mind and buy that copy of Harry
Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, but after reading it in just one day,
you were hooked.
Similarly when McFly started up you thought they were just Busted
wannabes and weren’t interested. Then you saw the music video to ‘Room on the
Third Floor’ and thought it was really clever and gave them a chance. It was
once you heard ‘All About You’ though that they found a place in your heart
forever.
The same goes for people. Everyone has first impressions of someone and
you feel perfectly comfortable in being able to say, “Do you know what? I got
you completely wrong when we first met. I’m sorry. Can we start over?” Don’t instantly
dismiss your gut instinct though. It’s pretty accurate and, more often than not,
serves you very well.
And try not to be so hard on yourself. You are an amazing person. You
have come through so much. You will go through so much more and come out the
other side of it. You will make plans that will never happen and that’s OK. Who
knows what the future will hold for us, but I can’t wait to find out.
I love you awesome nerd!
Tracy (aged 32)
P.S. Just to warn you, you're going to have a huge crush on someone on at university. You are going to find the courage to actually go and talk to him when you see him at the union. It will transpire that you are talking to his twin. FAIL!
P.P.S. Cut back on the chocolate and pizza. It’ll come back to haunt you as
you approach 30!
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